Eleazar's Crazy Wife
by Miss-Shannon-Rutherford-6409
Summary: Yup, I said it: Eleazar's Crazy Wife. Carmen has gone completely insane and has ran away to cause trouble to the rest of the world. The only people to be able to stop her is Eleazar and his crew. Dance Battles, craziness, stupity and Randomness is what they should be prepared for, knowing that Carmen will stop at nothing to cause chaos across the globe. Plz R&R :)
1. Chapter 1

_**Eleazars Crazy Wife**_

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters in this story, I only own the plot!**

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Eleazar's pov:

I was coming home after a long day of hunting alone, when I heard loud music coming from my house, I wasn't sure who was listening to this music this loud and this early in the morning but hopefully I'll be able to find who. I ran over to my front door opening it and seeing my wife, dancing around in a Batman costume with 'Call Me Maybe' Blasting through the stereo. She was holding a hair brush, probably pretending it was like a microphone or something.

She ripped the costume off tossing it to the floor, leaving her only in her undergarments. I stared at her as she danced to this song and sang along with it.

"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but heres my number, so Call Me Maybe!" She sang along. Kate and Garrett soon where rushing down the stairs, and then running out the door as Carmen started to break things while she rocked out. And yet I was still standing there, slightly amazed at her appearance. Tanya screamed while running out the door after Kate and Garrett.

I ran out the house, following after them. Kate,Garrett,Tanya, And I stood there, in shock, as we watched our house blow to pieces. Then Carmen stood there, still half-naked and then ran off into the wilderness. "Eleazar, what did you do to Carmen?" Tanya asked. "I did nothing, do you guys think we should send her to a Mental Hospital?" I asked them. They all shook their heads. "I don't think that's a good idea, she may just dance her way out of it, like amaze them with her dancing,  
because she's really good" Irina's ghost said. The hell? Irina? I thought she...oh wait... "I know how I can help! Get the Cullens, find Carmen and challenge her  
to a dance-off! She'll never be able to beat a whole bunch of vamps at one time!" Irina said to us.

I looked at her confused, a dance-off? Is that's what gonna stop my crazy, insane, wife, then what else will? I'm not a very good dancer, and if I did challenge her;  
I guarantee she will win anyways. To be honest, I'm not even half as good as her! "Are you sure thats gonna stop **_Carmen_**? I mean, we are talking about defeating  
_**Carmen**_ in a dance-off! Don't you know how that will end up?" Tanya said, emphasizing my wife's name.

"Bitch, please. That bitch won't even know we're coming, she'll probably run off because she knows shes gonna lose!" Garrett said.  
Kate sighed and looked back over at Irina. "Irina...just one question...How are you on Earth?" She said, Irina shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I'm just here"

"Well we better go get the Cullens, we'll need some sort of help!" Tanya said, eagerly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eleazar's Crazy Wife**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters in it. Lol...sadness...**

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Eleazar's pov:

"Well we better go get the Cullens, we'll need some sort of help!" Tanya said, eagerly.

We all nodded and somehow got teleported to Carlisle's Office. He turned around from the spot he was. "Alice saw that you needed our help with that crazy wife of yours..." I looked at him confused. "how did we get here?" I looked behind me and saw Kate sitting on top of Tanya,Garrett and the ghost of Irina. "I did nothing!" Kate said, laughing.

They all got up off the ground and Kate grabbed Garrett's hand and helped him back up. "Wow, that hurt. Maybe you shouldn't sit on people?" He said to Kate and chuckled.

Irina sat on the table and looked at Carlisle. "Irina?" He asked. "What?" She said, looking left to right, not moving her head but only her eyes. "hmm I thought you were dead?" She rolled her eyes. "Don't ask, it's a god damn long story."

I looked out the window, and saw Carmen, in the same outfit as before but now reciting the lyrics to 'Baby' by Justin Bieber. She was dancing around in her bra and underwear, same as before. That woman was insane;Like really insane. She scares me...

Carlisle looked out the window. "Distracted by your mate again, aren't you?" he laughed. "Maybe I should get her in here, she doesn't seem okay..." He added on to his sentence. Edward came in the room screaming. "MAKE IT STOP!" He said, holding his hands over his ears. Bella came in the room. "Its Carmen, shes listening to J.B. and singing to him. And he can read her thoughts" Bella said.

Tanya sighed as she was head-over heels for Edward. "Oh Edward..."

Kate walked over and zapped her sister so she fell off the chair and glanced at Bella. "Thank you, Katie" She thanked her and called her by Garrett's nickname for Kate. She smiled at her. "Your welcome, I think Tanya deserved it for making heart-eyes at your mate" Kate replied. Tanya got up off the ground and bitch-slapped her sister. Kate started to cry, which was unexpected because she would usually be stronger than that. Garrett looked at Kate for a second and then looked back at Tanya.

"You're such a bitch, Tanya, why would you do that?" Garrett rolled his eyes.

"Same reason why she would zap me." Tanya hugged Kate and kissed her cheek.

"Sibling Abuse." Carlisle said and turned to look out the window and Carmen was still doing what she was doing before. Bella had a very confused look on her face. "What the hell?" She said as she looked out the window.

"So...I hear that we have to beat this bitch in a dance battle...eh?" Emmett said, walking into the room.

"Yup and we have to force her into being normal again." I said back. Everyone laughed. Well of course we had to do that, she has acted mentally retarded lately and she blew up the house! Which I kinda thought was hilarious. Edward laughed. "Carmen blew up your house?" I nodded and everyone started laughing hysterically. Tanya fell off her chair, rolling on the floor laughing with Emmett,Kate,Garrett,Edward and Irina.

"Oh...my...god...I'm...gonna...pee...!" She said, still laughing hard. She was literally crossing her legs now so she wouldn't soil herself. Tanya quickly ran to the bathroom, while I waited for the laughter to dail down. "Yea...She really did blow up the house..." Then the laughter started up again.

Oh boy...here we go again...


End file.
